The best friends in the world

Much has been made lately about the current “crisis” in Israeli-American relations, wherein Israel’s announcement of new East Jerusalem construction during Joe Biden’s visit there has led to an impasse over the extent of the Israeli settlement freeze. Netanyahu says that Israel has never met American opposition to such construction, while Washington claims that the construction will hurt chances for peace.

Sam Melamed and Hailey Dilman, on this blog, believe that Israel and its populace have a misguided attitude. Most of the American Jewish media, however, sees this incident as the latest example of Obama’s misunderstanding of Israel’s policy, and has noted that Obama has been far less openly critical of the Palestinians than he has been of Israel.

The Jewish media’s main problem, then, is that the American government is biased regarding Israel. At the same time, however, the same media have demanded that the US maintain a “special relationship with Israel” or–in other words–a bias regarding Israel. American Jews have lobbied, successfully, for Israel to be America’s “best friend in the world” and have shut down those who request that America be an “honest broker” between the two sides.

But part of being a best friend is honest criticism and, at times, admonition. The reason America has been far more openly critical of Israel than the Palestinians is that it can afford to be; the US is not best friends with the Palestinian Authority.

Take the following example: If I’m standing near a fruit stand and I see someone take an apple and run, I’m probably not going to chase after him. I may likely alert a cop, but my relationship with the thief doesn’t dictate that I pursue him.

If I were to see my best friend steal the apple, though, I would certainly run after him, admonish him and use every argument to persuade him to return the apple or pay the fruit man the requisite 75 cents. I would do this because I care about my friend: I care about how he acts, how he thinks and how his actions affect those around him. I also know that he’s likely to listen to my suggestions, that I wouldn’t be wasting my breath.

In the  case of the specific Biden situation the same construct applies. Consider two college best friends, Friend A and Friend B, who both like Girl C: your classic love triangle.

Friend A: Dude, please do not go for Girl C. You know I’ve liked her for ages.
Friend B: I don’t know, dude, I think she likes me too.
Friend A: Yeah man, but you know I’d be pissed if you guys hooked up, and you’re my bro.
Friend B: Fine, bro, I’ll try to hold back.
Friend A: Awesome, bro. By the way, I’m having a party at my dorm tomorrow. Want to bring the Keglovich?
Friend B: Sure thing, man.
[They bro-hug]

At the party, sparks fly between Friend B and Girl C, and before long they’re making out on Friend A’s bed. Obviously, Friend A is pissed, and his bro-ness with Friend B is in “crisis.”

Examine the situation: Was it wrong of Friend B and Girl C to hook up? Not really; if they like each other, they should date, and Friend A should move on. But was it careless and inconsiderate of Friend B to hook up with Girl C specifically at Friend A’s party? Yes, of course.

Now examine the Biden situation in a similar light. Was it wrong of Netanyahu’s government to approve construction in East Jerusalem? I think so, but Netanyahu already declared–and the US tacitly accepted–that he wanted this to happen. Was it careless and inconsiderate of Netanyahu to approve this construction–of which America disapproves–when Biden was in Israel? Yes, of course.

It’s true that the administration has publicly admonished Israel more than it has the Palestinians. That’s because America and Israel are best friends, and part of being best friends is caring for each other and criticizing one another. If Israel and the American Jewish community can’t take the criticism, they shouldn’t demand the special relationship either.

Get New Voices in Your Inbox!